


lovers live and die fortissimo

by soheresmyrightfinger



Series: fear and lust and pride [2]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Dies/Nobody Lives, Anaphylaxis, Everybody Dies, F/F, F/M, Heart Attack, Suicide, be prepared for emotions, car crash, drive by, pulmonary embolism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-06-30 01:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15741513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soheresmyrightfinger/pseuds/soheresmyrightfinger
Summary: basically an "everybody dies" au because suffering is greattitle is from a falsettos songinspired by a fic called Six Years by lol-phan-af





	1. can’t be held responsible

_May 16th_

“You can take your big apology, roll it up tight and shove it up your fat-“ And then it hit her. The bus, that is.

Cady was in shock. She didn’t know whether to go or stay, but whatever she decided didn’t matter; her feet were stuck to the ground. She watched as Mrs. George and Gretchen stared at her limp figure in surprise. She watched the ambulance pick her up and put her in the back in a zipped up plastic bag. It made Cady sick. She wasn’t used to seeing dead people, just animals. She collapsed on the pavement, feeling guilt constrict every muscle in her body as the contents of her stomach spilled out. Coughing, wheezing, sobbing, Cady didn’t know what was going on. She’d lost all sense of reality the moment the bus made contact with Regina.

“Cady?” a voice from behind her called out. There was a ringing in her ears and she barely registered the sound of her name. The voice was next to her now. “Come on, let’s get you home.” It was Janis, and Damian too.

They each took an arm and took her to Damian’s car. She laid on her back and stared at the roof of the car, wordlessly. Janis reached for her hand, whispering “Cady?” The redhead looked over to her, unable to speak. She had a pleading look in her eyes. Janis understood. She was still mad, but god, the girl was pitiful. It broke her heart to see the girl like that, a shell. She glanced at Damian, the two exchanging looks before they arrived at the Heron house.

Janis pulled out her key and let herself in, Damian cradling Cady in his arms. Ever since the two had started dating, Cady’s parents had taken a liking to Janis, extending their home to her as if she was their own. They were surprised when Cady had told them that Janis was her girlfriend, but they were just happy to see that she was adjusting so well. They found themselves in Cady’s bedroom, adorned with keepsakes from Africa and mementos of pop culture things that Janis and Damian had taught her about. Janis smiled at the poster of The 1975 that she had given her and the framed painting of the three that had made their way onto her wall. Damian gently set the girl down on her bed and he and Janis sat on the edge, the latter rubbing her hand along Cady’s back as the redhead laid in the fetal position.

“Wanna talk about it, love?” Janis said softly, noting the way the girl’s body shuddered with every breath. Slowly, she turned over to face Janis, readjusting her body so that she could move her hands to sign the word _sign?_ Janis nodded, waiting patiently for Cady to begin. _I watched Regina get hit by the bus._ The dark haired girl gasped softly, whispering “Oh honey… I’m so sorry.” She turned to translate for Damian, who hadn’t been picking up ASL as quickly as Janis had, despite his best efforts.

He shot a concerned look towards Janis, the two briefly locking eyes before Janis spoke again, “What happened exactly? Only if you don’t mind rehashing it. If it’s too much, you can say so.” Cady took a deep breath before signing out the whole situation, Janis speaking a translation for Damian’s sake. When she finally finished, she dropped her hands back down, shoulders drooping, eyes focused up at Janis with that pitiful look in her eyes that made Janis’s heart break. _Was it my fault?_ Janis placed her hand on Cady’s and whispered, “Honey, no, it’s not your fault. She just wasn’t looking where she was going. You didn’t push her or anything. It’s not your fault.” Cady rubbed at the tears that had begun to fall down her cheeks. Janis held onto the smaller girl, rubbing circles onto her back and whispered, “it’s okay, you’ll be okay” as the girl cried silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey angels this fic is going to be kind of long so I decided to split it into several chapters rather than dumping everything out into one. I’ll update every other day or so as I start to complete chapters. I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> tumblr: [soheresmyrightfinger](http://soheresmyrightfinger.tumblr.com)  
> twitter: [makesyoubrave](http://twitter.com/makesyoubrave)


	2. i wanna dance with somebody (with somebody who loves me)

_June 10th_

It was the day of the Spring Fling dance, and North Shore still had a dark cloud looming over the campus. The faculty had decided against cancelling the Spring Fling, seeing it as a way for the students to unwind and have a chance to breathe. It had been almost a month since Regina was hit by the bus, and since then the North Shore cliques had just about completely disbanded. With Regina gone, there was no food chain, no hierarchy of cliques, just people trying to make it through the social curse that is high school. When it came time for spring fling, nobody really knew what to do when it came to king and queen. Cady was crowned queen because she was the last queen bee they’d known, so they voted for her. It was hard for her to take the crown, being unsure of whether Regina’s death had secured her victory.

 

“We could really all just share it…”

 

“Janis! Hey,” Cady called out after her speech. The dark-haired girl grinned, running to give Cady a big bear hug. She was so glad the redhead had started to feel better after watching Regina get hit by the bus. Truthfully, she was becoming more and more worried as she saw the days go on and sadly observed Cady’s silence. She did her best to help the girl with the guilt that had been tearing her apart, reassuring her that it wasn’t her fault, all the while worrying that things would never get better, that she would never stop crying.

But here she was, beautiful as ever, her smile lighting the dimly lit dance floor. _Dance with me?_ She signed with a beaming smile on her face. Janis took the tiny redhead’s hand in hers, wrapping her free arm around her, pulling her closer. Cady laid her head on Janis’s chest, the taller girl placing a kiss on her head. They could have stayed that way for forever. That is until they heard a familiar sound.

“Gretch, wait!” Karen yelled as the girl ran off sobbing. Cady looked up at Janis with a worried look on her face. “Let’s go,” Janis said as the smaller girl grabbed her hand and pulled her in the direction of the sound. Gretchen was a mess, flask in hand. How she got it past Duvall was a mystery. She was gripping her key fob, aggressively pushing the buttons in a desperate attempt to try to find her car.

“Gretch, please, it’ll be okay, just talk to me!” Karen pleaded before she was interrupted by Gretchen whipping around to grab Karen’s shoulders. Still with tears in her eyes, she looked deep into Karen’s blue eyes and whispered “I _have_ to _go,_ Karen.” She began to run again and Cady, with a frenzied look on her face, yelled out “Gretch, honey, you’re drunk, you shouldn’t dri-” She was cut off by Gretchen screaming “Fuck off Cady!” She somehow managed to find her car in her drunken stupor, running wildly towards it.

Karen, tears now streaming down her face as well, slowly turned and looked back at Janis and Cady, causing the two to exchange glances. “Oh geez, Karen, I’m sorry…” Cady whispered, causing the girl to barrel toward her, clinging onto her in distress. “I’m so worried. I hope she’s okay,” she whispered into Cady’s chest, heaving with sobs. Cady stroked the back of her head as Janis rubbed circles into her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: [soheresmyrightfinger](http://soheresmyrightfinger.tumblr.com)  
> twitter: [makesyoubrave](http://twitter.com/makesyoubrave)


	3. sing me to sleep (I’m tired and I want to go to bed)

_ June 13th _

It was the Monday after Spring Fling, and the dark cloud over North Shore wasn’t going away any time soon. Cady, Janis and Damian walked into the cafeteria, giggling over some stupid joke Damian had just told when Janis froze in place. “Jan?” Cady said, confused. “Shh, listen,” she said, somehow hearing something the other two hadn’t. Someone was crying. Cady and Damian looked concerned as Janis turned to the two and gestured for them to follow her. They followed the sound and found Karen, curled up in a ball, trying unsuccessfully to mask her sobs. The trio knelt down around her. “Karen?” Cady said softly, prompting the girl to look up, mascara tracks standing out on her pale face. “Oh dear,” Cady whispered. “Karen, are you okay? What’s going on?” Janis said, rubbing the girl’s shoulder. “N-no,” she breathed out, trying to catch her breath enough to explain. “I-it’s Gretch,” she said softly. Cady and Janis gave each other a look, both having a feeling of what happened, but being too scared to ask.

“What about her?” Damian asked, growing more concerned by the minute. “S-she got in a c-car crash, when she left spring fling,” she wheezed out, on the edge of full blown sobbing. “She… she’s gone,” she sobbed out. Cady opened her mouth, as if to speak, but she couldn’t make a sound. Janis felt like she was going to have a stroke. The trio looked at one another, trying desperately to figure out what to do. It had barely even been a month since Regina, and now Gretchen. Mortality never seemed so close before. Karen must have been so terribly heartbroken. First her best friend then her lover. “God Kare, I’m so sorry,” Janis whispered. “We’re here if you need a friend, or three,” she said softly, the other two nodding in response. “Thanks you guys,” she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa this one’s short but yeah rip gretch,,, she’s not fetch anymore
> 
> tumblr: [soheresmyrightfinger](http://soheresmyrightfinger.tumblr.com)  
> twitter: [makesyoubrave](http://twitter.com/makesyoubrave)


	4. i never said thank you for that (now i’ll never have a chance)

_July 20th_

School had been out for about a month, and Karen had been staying with Regina’s mother. Sleeping in her bed, seeing the pink in her room every day after school, analyzing herself in the mirror… It was like she’d never left. But Karen knew it wasn’t that easy, never that simple.

She woke up and checked her phone, checking the group message she’d been added to after Gretchen’s passing. The trio wanted to make sure she had as much support as she needed - after all, both of her best friends had passed away in the span of a month.

 

 **ratherbegay:** hey dweebs wanna go camping this weekend?

 **savannabi:** YES!!!!

 **2gay2function:** woah slow down africa

 **savannabi:** >:(

 **savannabi:** why do you guys keep calling me that it isn’t even a cute nickname

 **ratherbegay:** for the sake of irony

 **2gay2function:** ^

 **ratherbegay:** wbu karen you wanna come

 **sexymouse:** sure! I’ve never been before though

 **2gay2function:** oh you are gonna have the best time!

 **sexymouse:** oh god

 **sexymouse:** oh my god

 **savannabi:** everything okay?

 **sexymouse:** can someone come over

 **sexymouse:** please

 **ratherbegay:** we’re on our way

 

Karen stood frozen. She wasn’t sure what to do. Two deaths before this and she still didn’t know what to do. But then again, before this she’d never seen a body. Mrs George was slumped down on the couch in an impossibly awkward position, neck bent uncomfortably into the corner of the couch, body half off of the couch. Slowly, the girl picked up her phone to dial 911.

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“My friend’s mom… dead… help,” she stammered out.

The trio had piled into Damian’s car as soon as Karen texted. They had spent the night in Damian’s garage, watching movies and laughing just like old times. When they got to Karen’s house, the emergency responders were already outside. They practically rolled out of the car to get inside and when they got there, Karen was still standing there, frozen, her gaze locked on the couch. “Kare?” Cady said softly, slowly reaching out to touch her shoulder.

“Jesus Cady, she’s in shock, she’s not infected.” Janis said, without the usual snark present. She pulled her arm down to give Janis a look. When she turned back around she was faced with Karen, the color completely gone from her face. “S-she… she’s gone,” She whispered breathlessly despite the heaving of her chest. Janis muttered “be right back” as Cady and Damian led the girl to the couch.

When Janis came back with a bucket in hand, the other two gave her a look. “What? She’s in shock,” she said, setting the bucket down in front of her. “It happened to you,” she said, gesturing towards Cady. “Fair point,” the redhead replied, shrugging.

Damian was rubbing circles on the blonde’s back. “Hey Karen?” Janis said, prompting the girl to turn her head to look at her. She looked empty behind the eyes. “Are you hungry?” She nodded slowly. Janis got up, leaving Cady and Damian to wonder what exactly she was up to. She came back with some butterscotch candies from Regina’s bedroom. They were her favorite.

“Okay Karen, can you do something for me?” She tilted her head to the side, prompting Janis to elaborate. “I just have a few questions for you, do you mind?” Karen slowly moved her head upright, mumbling out a “go ahead.” Janis gestured for Damian to scoot over as she sat next to Karen, softly grabbing her hand. “Okay Karen, can you point out five things you can see?” The blonde blinked a couple times, as if to process what Janis had just said and began to look around. “TV…” She said, still scanning the room. “Good, what else?” Janis said softly. “B-bookshelf… table… pictures…” She looked on either side of her. “Friends,” she said, a soft smile appearing on her face. The color was slowly coming back to her face.

“That’s right Kare, your friends are here. We’re here for you. Four things you hear?”

“Your voice… uh… my breathing, it’s loud.” She shook her head, trying to listen for other sounds. Janis scrolled through her phone, turning on one of Karen’s favorite songs at a low volume. She seemed confused at first before whispering, “Hey, I-I love this song,” Karen said, turning to find the source. Janis shook her phone, showing Karen the screen. She smiled. Her chest had slowly begun to stop heaving. “Just one more thing,” Janis said pausing the music. Karen closed her eyes, listening intently. “Wind, blowing the trees,” she said softly. Janis squeezed her hand gently. “Good, you’re doing good. Three things you feel.”

“The couch, your hands,” Karen said, noting the way that Janis was rubbing her thumb along the back of her hand. “The AC, geez it’s cold in here,” Karen said louder than she intended to, causing Janis to laugh. “Good, now two things you can taste.”

“Morning breath,” she grimaced. She hadn’t had the time to brush her teeth before she found her. Janis placed a candy in the girl’s hand. “Ooh butterscotch!” She said, excitedly unwrapping the candy and letting it roll around in her mouth. The trio smiled, watching as Karen began to steady. She wasn’t okay and might not be for a while, but for now she would be alright.

“One last thing okay?” Karen nodded. “One good thing about yourself. It can be anything,” she said, hoping that this wouldn’t be too difficult for the girl. “I’m nice to people, that counts right?”

“Absolutely,” she said with a smile. “That’s it, you’re done,” Janis said, rubbing her thumb along the girl’s leg. She smiled softly, leaning down to put her head on Janis’ shoulder. “Thanks for coming for me,” she said, looking around the room at her friends. “Of course, that’s what friends are for,” Damian said with something close to a chuckle in his voice.

Cady nodded, adding on “We’re here if you need anything.” Karen bit her lip, sitting up. The trio perked up to listen closely to what she was about to say. “D-do you think… do you guys know somewhere I can stay?”

“Of course! My garage is always vacant, well save for these two lesbians,” Damian said with a warm smile. “I’m bi, actually,” Cady said, signing the sentence as well. “But lesbian for me,” Janis giggled, causing Cady to playfully roll her eyes. “Whatever you say, babe.”

Damian rolled his eyes as well, directing his focus to Karen. “Well, how’s that sound, love?” He asked, referencing his earlier offer. She blushed at the pet name; she couldn’t remember the last time someone called her by one. “Sounds good,” the blonde said with a soft smile. “Well go get your things and we can start to get you settled in,” he smiled. “Need any help?” Cady asked. “Um… sure,” she said, prompting all three of them to get up.

Cady rubbed circles on Karen’s back, a silent reassurance that it would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip mrs geroge... oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead
> 
> tumblr: [soheresmyrightfinger](http://soheresmyrightfinger.tumblr.com)  
> twitter: [makesyoubrave](http://twitter.com/makesyoubrave)


	5. adding the breeze to the summer nights

_July 25th _

Janis stuffed a bag of marshmallows in her duffel, the last thing she needed to pack before the gang went camping. She glanced around the room, watching as her friends gathered their things.

 _We truly are an interesting group,_ Janis mused. She never would have expected Karen to become integrated into their group of friends. But then again, they also didn’t expect Regina, Gretchen and Mrs. George to all die in the course of three months. _Life’s full of unexpected twists I guess._

“Hey, space gay,” Damian called out. “You gonna get in the car or are you gonna keep daydreaming?”

“Shut up,” she laughed, punching Damian lightly on the shoulder. “Ouch!” he said, dramatically clutching his arm and making the group laugh. “So who’s driving again?

-

They made it to the campgrounds and Cady was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. She hadn’t stayed in a tent since she lived in Africa and she was excited to try to see the stars and enjoy the fresh air. She tugged Janis’ hand and started to put up the tents.

Karen, on the other hand, was a bit nervous. She’d never done anything like this before. With Regina and Gretchen, it was all manicures and miniskirts.

But she was eager to hang out with her new friends, no matter what they did while they were together. She was just happy to have friends, real ones this time. She searched around for something she could do without messing it up, and inevitably settled on pulling out chairs and the materials for s’mores.

Once everything was set up, they all sat around the fire, courtesy of Damian, who proudly held up the Boy Scouts salute after sparking the flame.

“I’m so hungry,” Karen whined, rubbing her stomach.

Janis jumped up, “Fear not, pretty in pink, for I brought dinner,” she declared, pulling two pizza boxes out of the tent she and Cady shared.

-

After they finished eating dinner, Cady tapped Janis on the shoulder and whispered a question in her ear. Janis, grinning at her girlfriend’s excitement, answered, “Of course, silly,” causing the shorter girl to jump up and go into their shared tent.

“Uh, why’s Africa so excited?” Damian asked, making the other two laugh.

“I told Cady we could make the s’mores now,” Janis shrugged as Cady came out, holding the ingredients triumphantly above her head.

As Cady passed out the sticks, Karen piped up, mumbling “I-I’ve never made s’mores before…”

Cady, in all her excitement, squealed at the idea of teaching Karen how to make one of her favorite desserts.

Damian and Janis watched in amusement as Karen asked Cady what to do if it catches on fire, a look of distress on the blonde girl’s face. But not long, after the group was enjoying their s’mores as well as each other’s company.

“So Kare, how’s your first time camping been?” Janis asked the blonde.

She smiled, replying, “I’ve had fun! I’ve never done anything like this before, it was… different.” She declared.

“Good different, right?” Damian asked, causing Karen to nod.

“The only thing is these little bugs keep biting me…” the blonde whispered, scratching at her arms.

“Yeah, those are mosquitoes babes. They bite just about everything that moves.” Before Janis could finish her statement, Karen squealed out in pain.

“I-I think I stepped on something sharp,” she wheezed as Janis lifted up the girl’s foot to take a look.

“Karen,” Janis said carefully, “Are you breathing okay?” As soon as the blonde girl shook her head, Janis swooped her up and yelled at the others to get in the car. Janis got behind the wheel, with Damian sitting at her right hand and Cady comforting Karen as best she could in the back.

“Janis, are you gonna tell us what the fuck is going on?” Damian said, beginning to panic. Karen had lost three people in the last three months, and he’d be damned if she followed in their footsteps.

“I think Karen’s allergic to bees, and she stepped on one. She has a stinger in her foot and it’s white around the area and it’s swelling. So I’m driving us to the nearest hospital.” Cady looked down at Karen, concern deeply present in her brown eyes.

“Karen?” She whispered, causing the blonde to look up at her. “I love you, okay? You mean a lot to me - to all of us.” She grabbed the girl’s hand, softly squeezing it. Karen smiled softly and squeezed back.

“Does she not have an epipen?” Damian asked, shoulders sinking when Janis shook her head no.

“Wasn’t one in her things when we helped her move.” Janis was definitely way over the speed limit, but they had finally arrived at the hospital, and somehow she was frenzied yet composed at the same time.

-

“Janis, honey, please, you did everything you could,” Cady said softly, trying desperately to comfort her girlfriend and stop her from destroying her basement. She had held it together in the hospital, but now they were home and she didn’t have to keep her composure anymore.

“It wasn’t enough!” She screamed between sobs, collapsing into Cady’s arms. “It wasn’t enough…” Damian knelt down next to the two, wrapping them up into his arms as they all sobbed silently, trying to ignore the elephant in the room - who will be next to go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry yall but it had to be done
> 
> tumblr: [soheresmyrightfinger](http://soheresmyrightfinger.tumblr.com)  
> twitter: [makesyoubrave](http://twitter.com/makesyoubrave)


	6. sweet as cherry wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit more norvall-centric sorry gays but tbh they’re basically canon in the movie so

_August 21st_

Sharon Norbury had never been much of an extrovert. Most of her time was spent with high schoolers, which didn’t really warrant much intellectual conversation. Until Cady, that is. After the whole burn book fiasco, Cady had begun to talk more to Mrs. Norbury. She felt comfortable discussing everything with her, and the math teacher had even begun to pick up ASL to help her when she went nonverbal. She was proud of herself as she was now able to count up to 50. Mrs Norbury had become a mentor of sorts to Cady, offering advice and math puns if she needed a pick-me-up. Sharon Norbury had never been much of an extrovert until she had begun to talk to Ron Duvall.

The pair had bantered back and forth about their mutually shitty summers on the day Cady came to North Shore, and their relationship only developed from there. Next thing they knew, they were moving in together and sneaking in “I love you”s during passing periods and planning hours. Though trying to be sneaky was ultimately futile; their students caught on quickly and thought it was absolutely adorable. Cady even asked her to gush during one of their many talks.

Ms Norbury was always a hopeless romantic, utterly heartbroken when she ended up a divorcée twice over. But somehow, Ron Duvall made her unafraid. Unafraid to be herself, to love, to be happy. He held her at Spring Fling and suddenly the world melted away.

“Hey Shari,” he whispered behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Whatcha thinkin about?” She smiled, leaning into him. “You,” she said softly. He hesitated before asking, “Anything else?” She sighed before whispering, “School’s about to start up again… How are we gonna handle this?” she said, referring to the four deaths that had shaken their city over the past few months.

He leaned down to kiss her neck, replying, “I’m not sure. But it’ll be okay. They’ll heal. We just have to be there if they need us.” She turned around to look at him, in awe of how lucky she was to have him. “How are you so amazing?” she whispered, looking into his eyes. “I should ask you the same thing,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her again.

That was the last time she saw Ron Duvall.

They called Sharon the next day, August 22nd, asking her to come down and identify the body. They said he had a heart attack while at a meeting for principals in their district. She didn’t even know he had heart problems. She cried silently in the waiting room at the hospital. The first man to truly love her and treat her well was fucking dead.

 _Just my luck,_ she thought to herself. _I, Sharon Norbury, am cursed._ She thought about his words earlier, " _we just have to be there if they need us."_ But who was going to be there for her?

 

“Yes, t-that’s him.”

 

Sharon Norbury went home alone that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey party people my updates are back!! they’ll be spaced a little further apart due to my still having catch up work to do from being in the hospital but hiatus updates can be found on my tumblr: soheresmyrightfinger


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